This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Welp...herpes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
