Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
