Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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