It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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