woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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