if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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