1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
