i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
