i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
