she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
