id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
