ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
