she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
