The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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