hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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