cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
