I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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