You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
