I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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