how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Floor bacon is actually really good
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