Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
