when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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