how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
