Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I need moral support for this bender
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
