i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
