dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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