So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
