I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
