You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i barfeds in our rink
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
