Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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