We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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