My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
