I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
