loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
