she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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