My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she smelled like a LAN party
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
