You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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