Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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