you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
