I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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