I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
