Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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