May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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