So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
