My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
