But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
