Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So apparently I’m into choking now
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