I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Congratulations! We have a period
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