It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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