What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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