either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My life is pants optional.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
