If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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